Lorenzo made me feel comfortable at the costume party

Samantha is 27, a graphic designer and lives downtown. She says, “I don’t care about style in the middle of winter. I only want to be warm. I wash and wear the same pairs of special long underwear over and over again, and never take off my big warm coat.” Samantha doesn’t “usually like people” and says she is “kind, usually quiet and introverted, a loyal friend, someone who goes deep with people.” She likes reading, writing in her journal and spending time alone at home, as well as “road trips with friends, going on adventures and quests,” especially for new food and to see new things, and visiting as many different countries as she can on a budget. She says, “I was not looking for a relationship when I met Lorenzo. The opposite.”

I met Lorenzo at a work event. It wasn’t really meant to be a party but, after we wrapped, a bunch of people went out for drinks. We didn’t work together directly so I had never gotten to know him. I was only aware that he was goodlooking, charming and had an obvious warmth. He was tanned, athletic and outgoing, which is the opposite of me.

I got in a conversation with Lorenzo and, right away, I realized that I was deeply attracted to him. I noticed that he paid attention to whoever was talking and made sure everyone was included. I wanted to kiss him, but there was no opportunity to even be alone with him. He didn’t seem to notice.

Fast forward a few weeks. I didn’t actually ask him out, but I arranged for us to hang out more. It took a long time for me to get the message across that I liked him, but eventually I got the kiss I was going for and made sure he knew I was interested. I was really into Lorenzo. He was everything he seemed to be and more, including being extremely kind and funny.

At this point, I was impatient and decided we needed to go on a real date. I told him this and he seemed surprised but agreed to it. I wondered if his comfort zone was more in groups or if he somehow had less experience dating than I did.

For our first real date, we planned to go to dinner and then to a theme birthday party, where I would meet his close friends outside of work. We met up at a coffee shop near the office the morning of the date, so he could give me the key to his place without our co-workers seeing. For logistics reasons I had to drop off a bag at his place over lunch. It felt really intimate and I felt the relationship zoom forward.

It was so strange to see Lorenzo’s place for the first time by myself. I was tempted to poke around but instead just dropped my stuff off and left quickly. He had roommates and I was paranoid.

That night we went out for dinner before the party. We were still getting to know each other and, even though I had been to his place that day and seen him a few times, I felt shy and withdrawn.

I felt myself going inward and having to force myself to stay present with him. I already knew I liked

Lorenzo, but the “zoom” feeling was overwhelming. Lorenzo might have picked up on that, because he kept me laughing as much as possible at dinner.

We went to his place to get dressed in our costumes for the theme party and had fun just getting ready. I would have been happy to skip the party; I just liked being around him.

We took the TTC to the party and it took a while to get there. Lorenzo held my hand and seemed to be really invested in making me feel good and comfortable. He told me funny stories about the friends I was about to meet.

The party was fun, and I was happy to be in costume so I could retreat into myself a bit and take it all in. I loved watching Lorenzo holding court with his friends.

We took a cab back to his place and he cuddled me in his arms the whole time.

I felt like after the slow start we had fast-forwarded into a relationship in just one day, but it was good.

Samantha rates her date (out of 10):

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