Talk to kids about transit safety

Children can take steps if they feel threatened and shouldn’t be afraid of making a scene

The shocking stabbing death of 16year-old Gabriel Magalhaes at Keele subway station — the latest in a wave of serious and apparently random violence on the TTC — has parents wondering how to keep their commuting kids safe.

Experts in self-defence, psychology and public transit emphasize talking to your children about how they feel and what steps they can take when they feel unsafe.

Parents and caregivers should ask their kids if they know about highprofile incidents like Magalhaes’s killing, and whether they have any questions or feelings, said Mary Elizabeth Picher, a registered psychotherapist and clinical director at the Giving Tree Centre.

That’s one way into discussing with your child some simple steps like travelling with a group, ensuring their family knows where they’re going and not travelling alone at more unsafe times of day.

“The difficult thing about this situation, though, is that this happened on a Saturday and it was unprovoked,” Picher said.

Parents can’t shield or sugar-coat reality, she said, explaining it’s important kids understand that there are risks involved when taking public transit — and there are also things they can do to be safer.

Talking is also important because it’s not healthy to avoid something that could cause anxiety. Anxiety is contagious, so if parents are anxious themselves, kids will pick up on that — “when you avoid things the anxiety gets worse.”

And if, for example, youth are shutting down over the news or refusing to go out or take public transit, Picher advised they may need professional help.

Toronto police have a web page dedicated to safety tips while waiting for and riding transit. These include staying alert and looking up, moving to an area with more people or near an escape route if you feel uncomfortable, or close to the driver.

If someone demands your belongings, like an electronic device, and imply they have a weapon, police say to not resist since it increases the chance of getting hurt. If someone tries to assault you, police advise attracting attention by pulling the emergency alarm, screaming and running away.

In the long term, having a reliable service will bring people back to public transit, which in turn makes it safer, said Ron Buliung, graduate chair of geography and planning at the University of Toronto, who has been working on active school transportation since 2008.

“Having more people on transit makes transit safe,” he said, acknowledging how difficult it can be to convince people to get on a system they may perceive as risky or even dangerous.

“I’m going to be a hypocrite and I’m going to say we need to not be walking away from transit. But I’m not letting my 15-year-old take it at the moment,” Buliung said. Although his teen isn’t comfortable taking the subway, he noted that not every family can make a similar choice based on their income and flexibility.

Buliung said he’s talked to his teen about transit safety — like where to stand, to not wear earbuds or headphones so that they’re aware of their surroundings, and to stay near friends.

But to solve the issues behind the recent violence on the TTC, Buliung said solutions require addressing underlying social issues that have little to do with the transit system itself, such as the crises in homelessness, health care and mental health.

Deb Chard, a trainer with Wen-Do Women’s Self Defence organization, said it’s important to avoid victim-blaming and questions about what a young person could have done to keep themselves out of harm’s way.

“It’s never a kid’s fault that they get hurt,” she said.

Instead, advised Chard, focus on teaching kids that they are worth fighting for and worth being treated with respect.

In Magalhaes’s case, Chard said, it’s not about what he “should have done or could have done … whatever happened to him, he did his best. There’s no looking back at what someone who has been hurt or killed should have done.”

The conversations to have with your children are about the future, she said, emphasizing, “what we want for the kids in our lives to know is that they are actually entitled to make a scene.”